Three Things I Re-Learned From Going Home First Time Since COVID-19
The past couple of years have flown by with the pandemic skewing our perception of the past, and the future.
Thanks to the pandemic, I hadn’t been home for over two years. There were gaps and moments I could’ve flown home, but the situation was too unclear, with too many rules and variables.
Who wants to pay hundreds if not thousands just to isolate after a trip that usually costs just £100 per flight? Not forgetting that we hadn’t had a vaccine yet, airport travel was a hot mess, and it was not looking great for keen travelers with smaller wallets.
Here in England, I had retreated into myself without realizing it. I hardly ever rang home. Although I had no excuses because we have a pretty decent Internet connection and too many devices at home to count, from phones to laptops to computers. I stopped thinking, dreaming, talking, and writing in my native language.
Around two years later, I finally managed to successfully book a flight home and on Christmas nevertheless. I hadn’t been home for Christmas in probably a decade at this point.
But, lo and behold, the airplane ticket confirmation landed in my inbox. I could start planning what clothes to bring, seeing as I hadn’t had a “proper” winter ever since I left home. (How do you prepare for a winter trip with a forecast of -10°C daily?)
I didn’t have any expectations for our holiday beyond being able to switch off for a moment and to enjoy my mum’s cooking. But, after the week we spent at my parents’, I realized I came home with more than just a suitcase filled with chocolate, other snacks, and some dirty laundry.
Money buys comfort, not happiness
Although I hadn’t been particularly money-driven in life, I had grown accustomed to specific ways of life. Money (and what money can buy) had seemingly become integral in measuring life satisfaction. But, I had forgotten one crucial thing that going back home reminded me of.
Money is fleeting, and there isn’t a single amount of it that will magically solve all life’s problems. Instead, it is a catalyst for certain opportunities, safety, and comfort.
I guess you could say my family is quite frugal, and so by association, I used to have a similar mindset. However, over the years — and particularly during the lockdown — I had grown to believe that buying numerous things on Amazon prime without a second thought is a way of being.
What a great life! Order a bunch of things and have them delivered to you. Then, order some more. And more. Besides pressing “ Buy Now, “ you don’t even have to lift a finger.
But do we actually need to buy all that? Doesn’t it throw us in the never-ending hamster wheel of always wanting more — something better, something more expensive?
It may seem like a Christmas every time the courier drops off yet another cardboard box on our doorstep. In reality, it just takes us a step farther from feeling content with what we have already built and achieved in this life.
Back at home, everyone got one or two small gifts for Christmas. The rest was filled with games, food, and catch-ups. The lack of commercialized holiday pressure was freeing.
It reminded me it’s the people, heritage, culture, and collective memories that matter. It reminded me that you can fix things before unnecessarily throwing money at issue, creating more waste, and taking up more space in your home.
Money paid for our holiday, the food and the drink, the Christmas tree, and the handful of gifts. And, it was more than enough.
Connect to nature, goddamnit
I didn’t realize how much I had missed hearing the silence of the forest, smelling the fresh air of the sea, to feel like I belonged with the nature surrounding me.
I had completely lost touch with the natural world throughout the years. Seaside is over an hour whether we head west or east. I don’t know any thick forest nearby. Everything else seems too “adjusted-for-humans” around us.
Paid car parks. Everyone going to the same spot on the weekend. It seems almost commercialized in a way.
It’s not the same as being able to step outside by yourself and feel truly connected with the land around you. I had really missed this.
I don’t know how to reconnect going forward, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out. Move to a location where I’m more likely to return to my roots? Be more conscious about slowing down and genuinely feeling and absorbing the fresh air and the sunlight? I’m sure there is a way.
Slow down, have a coffee, and talk
My life had become so regimented. The daily lockdown routine somewhat continues to lead our lives. Constant worries about the future, work opportunities, and quiet times filled with distractions.
I had forgotten what it’s like to have a cup of coffee and sit down at the table to talk about something. Anything. No agenda, no particular plans to discuss, just a good ol’ conversation about the little things in life. Perhaps, big ideas at times.
When was the last time you cleaned up after dinner and simply sat down with a cup of tea (coffee? wine?) and enjoyed a free-flowing conversation about life? Without feeling like it’s eating into your “me time” or your “do-some-more-work” time? Without feeling like it’s taking away your precious time that you had planned to spend on doing something else?
I feel like I had lost the ability to just enjoy “being” without a hundred tabs running in the background of my mind.
I am still a work in process, but I hope to take these lessons with me and work on them. If I don’t, I feel I may risk losing parts of myself.
And trust me, it’s already hard enough as it is for an immigrant to navigate the world of identity — torn between two worlds and two lives.
